Book Review- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Recently I read the book- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson It focuses on the important aspects of life like responsibility, relationship, happiness and values. I liked the anecdotes he chose to deliver the message that people often find themselves in a emotional storms and very few people have the capacity to come out of that on their own therefore this book is for them to help them to overcome from their situation. An emotional storm is the recurring feeling of anxiety faced by the person.

The book is a great addition to my library such that it gives me a thoughtful inquiry into my own emotions and value system. The book briefly talks about the damaging effects of media and internet on the people’s values and life. The marketing process often ends highlighting the negatives and to sell the idea to the people for the capitalist gains. This form of media is not good for the mental health of the people and diseases like depression, stress , anxiety have become very common among the people.

Mark complains that in the present world people want to be happy by achieving unimportant things earning more money, shaping the body in a particular shape, to wear clothes like a celebrity, to buy an expensive car etc. These are often the materialistic things and they can never satisfy the person. To attain true happiness is the ability to solve own problems by taking action to solve those life’s problems.

The other important thing that Mark speak about is the self awareness- It is the process of knowing oneself better. It involves asking the why questions many a times when a person is stuck in a situation and to come to a point where the cause of the situation can be found out. The change should occur by the changing the value system of the person. It is a great way to adapt and to transform the way of thinking of the person. Ex- If a person is getting bothered by having less friends then he should ask himself that is it really necessary to have more friends? It is going to help him to achieve his personal goals? These questions help the person to settle down with more or less friends as found out by the person.

The writer says that at any point in life the choices that people make are based on two assumptions that if they fail they will blame something/someone and the responsibility is not theirs. The society we live in is a system with preset values and beliefs and therefore it is very important to adapt to it by taking responsible actions. So, it is important to take the responsibility of one’s life rather than to blame it on something/someone.

The book also provides an insight into building relationships stronger. The problems in any relationship arises due to not taking up proper responsibilities of each other. It is very important to take up own responsibility and feel good about each other. It also gives the freedom to the partners to pursue their interests. The Beatles drummer -Pete Best who retired ended up being happier than being in the Beatles band because he was able to share the responsibilities harmoniously with his wife and that resulted him in being a happier married couple.

The writer also talks about teachings of Buddhism which explains that the point of life is that there is no point of life. Buddha was a king who had never felt the pain so he took the pain on himself – leaving his family, castle and people behind. He lived in the wilderness and spent his lives on alms. Later he found that there is actually no point in taking unnecessary pain in life since happiness and pain are inseparable part of life. The good values must be implemented in life- Sacrifice, feeling pain, learning new skills etc. whereas values like being materialistic, feeling good, earning a lot of money are often irrelevant values. The book speaks to the reader and explains that the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is actually means to give a lot of fucks about important things in life.

Pune Journey

 

During my graduation I was very active in spreading awareness about the cleanliness and traffic rules. At the same time I was preparing for my MBA entrance exams. One of my school friend was studying in Pune at that time. His name was Umang. He had invited me to visit him. So I was excited about visiting my friend.

Umang was pursuing his graduation in Liberal arts from Symbiosis College. We were school friends. He often complained that I do not visit him. I was in the 3^rd year of my graduation and was studying in the Saurashtra University at that time.

He had invited me to Pune and “see the actual world” as he used to call it. When he came to visit me in the Diwali vacation, for hours we discussed about Pune student culture, the students in his college were very politically correct and how he was getting mocked by everyone for being a gujju their. I could see a lot of change in Umang’s accent. We used to spend hours in chit-chatting about his classmates and some really good interactions that he had in the class with his history teachers. His history classes were very interesting to attend. He told that “one should get a popcorn and sit in the history class”.

Few months later after my graduation and completing all the competitive exams I decided to visit my friend.

I went to the nearest ticket reservation office to buy the tickets in tatkal. I went early and waited their. As I was standing their. I observed that a little farther then me, a railway official and two other RPF employees were having a chat with each other while one of them threw a masala wrapper on the ground. I quickly took the initiative and tried to stop the railway official,

 

Me(loudly)- Hey, can you please pick that wrapper that you just threw on the station?

Employee(smirk face)- Who are you? What are you doing here?

Me- I am waiting to book my tickets to Pune. I think we should keep our surroundings clean and thus it is really wrong to throw wrappers on the ground.

 

The railway employee stormed inside his cabin with an angry face.

 

RPF employee- Why did you talk to him like that? He is the station head here. What are you doing here?

Me- I understand but throwing garbage on the platform is also not the right thing to do. Isn’t it? I and my friends hold cleanliness campaigns in the city.

 

The RPF employee walked away and said in a low voice, “Kids these days! Huh!”

 

I saw the station head entering the ticket office and leaving from their. I got my tickets to Pune anyway and happily called my friend that I was coming to visit him.  It was the morning train. I had this habit of stopping people from throwing garbage everywhere but I had realized that I had to control that behavior since there will be a lot of people in the sleeper coach who would throw wrappers outside from the train.

 

Train Journey

My fourth semester of MBA was going on. I had decided to go to my hometown when the college administration was busy in taking the interviews for the new batch of students. Since it was a plan made at the last minute, I saw that the plane tickets were very expensive so I did my reservation in the train.

I got my ticket but it was in a waiting list so I had to spend a part of my journey in the General coach. Previously I had only sat in the general coach once or twice but that was for very short distances while travelling to the relatives house.

My train was from the Yeshwanthpur Station. I reached the station in the morning and observed the billboards that showed the coach signs and I found out that the general coach was at the far end of the station. I could see a large group of people waiting for the train. Most of them were the families who were moving to a different location in search of work. They had big iron suitcases with them. They were carrying small children. As the train came I managed to enter the coach while there was a lot of push and pull from the crowd of people.

I was surprised to see these families who despite having a lot of luggage and not to mention their small kids were very comfortable in catching the train. I had very less luggage with which I sat on a seat near the window.

It was the February month. One can only imagine how cold it was going to get because the train was going to pass from Pune, Lonavala and the outskirts of Mumbai. I had to sit in the general coach till Pune before which I could get my reservation confirmed in the sleeper coach.

The train was really slow, it stopped at virtually all stops inviting more and more people. At one point of time, it was literally hard to breath! The day passed like this.

During the night time. People were dozing off on the floor of the coach, outside the toilet, near the gate etc. I was just thinking that if I have to pee then where are the places on the coach where I can put my feet and reach the toilet without disturbing anyone.

I observed that the labourers were playing games in their Vivo phones. Others were busy in listening songs on their earphones. I could feel very cold wind blowing from little spaces between the rickety windows but due to so many people everywhere there was no scope of feeling cold. Uncles, boys, kids, aunties and old age people were everywhere.

I managed to doze off resting my head and my hands around my bag that was kept on my lap. As I woke up I saw that the coach had so much less people. As it was a pass local so most of them had dropped down at different stations.

I reached Mumbai. I was still sitting in the general coach. It was comfortable with less people and crowd in it. The train stopped at the outskirts of the city from where so many people starting coming in.

There was a moment of rush again. People were coming inside, the students, so many gujjus who do the daily up-down journey to a work location etc. There was so much of energy in the environment that was missing when I caught the train from Bangalore. I loved it.

I had a small discussion with a group of people about where they are going and what work they do and introduced myself to them. I got down from the train once or twice and washed my face near the railway water facility. I loved eating biscuits back then so I bought my favourite hide n seek from a shop.

As I came closer to my home location the train was getting empty and soon there were very few people left in it. I saw the climate changing also, it was the same, very hot and dry. It was a 30 hours journey but I was not feeling any tired as I had reached home. It seemed like nothing much has changed.

Sinhagad Trek

      

 

I asked my Pune friends about things to do on a weekend.
Some suggested me to go to temples, others said clubbing would be best and some suggested to go to lakes and natural parks to chill.

I chose to do trekking.

There is a place called Sinhagad. It is quite famous for trekking. A lot of people go there to have fun with their family and friends.
I decided to go to this place early in the morning. However I started very late, woke up at 12.30pm and started my travel to Sinhagad Fort.
I took a city bus to Nanded City and from there I took another bus to Sinhagad fort.
The day was moderately hot.
The bus was wonderful. It was very fast, it’s diesel engine was roaring with power, and it ran smoothly on the road. The conductor and the driver in their khakhi uniform were very kind to tell me where to drop down to go to Sinhagad fort.
The bus dropped me at the foot of the mountain and from there I started my climb.

It was a 1 hour trek. While climbing I saw families , people in their 60’s and young boys. The boys were full of energy and were climbing steep rocks which they told me were ‘shortcuts’. I took few shortcuts as well. But later I realised that it did not make much difference in the time or distance taken to complete the trek.

I was climbing with a group of people. They were IT professionals. One of the guy was quite lazy. He called me repeatedly from behind – “Kitna he bhaiya aur”, “Rukja bhaiya me aa raha hu” and everytime I could see him from above I shout back at him “bas pahoch gaye” , “5 more minutes”, “I am waiting for you, come”.
The climb seemed difficult at the start but with a lot of trekkers who were full of energy and enthusiasm, it became easy.
I was wearing a pair of nike shoes, that had a good grip on the rocks which made it easy for me to climb.
After an hour and 10 mins of continuous walking and climbing I reached at the top.

On the top of the hill I sat and relaxed for a while. The view at the top was wonderful!
I could see a big reservoir which is called the Khadakwasla Dam of Pune. There were other buildings that looked like Lego pieces from there.
Behind me were big towers and giant dish TV’s and still my phone did not have the network. Huh!
There were various food stalls on the top as well. I saw people coming in Car by the road. The lazy guy told me that he ll take a car to go down.

It was 5.30 pm and I started to come down. Coming down was quite easy.
I saw a number of checkposts which are small huts on the trek where people were sitting and were having mineral water and wafers. The inside of these huts looked good, it is made up of clay and is shaped by the hands while making them.
I stood near one of the huts for a while and enjoyed the view while taking rest.
Meanwhile I also got the network in my phone when I reached half of the journey to come down.
Then I continued till I reached down.

After reaching down I took the bus to go back home. The bus conductor handed me the tickets and I enjoyed the journey back to my place.

Motivation at the Metro Station

During my internship I had a very wondeful experience at a metro station in Mumbai. I was coming back from the office. I used to travel by the local train and then take a metro which was nearby my place of stay.

As I was walking down towards the exit I saw a bunch of Musicians performing. There were three of them, One had the Guitar and the other two were singing.

I was very tired and thought of this as an opportunity to listen to the live music and do away with my stress. So I stood there and listened to their songs. They were singing linkin park, eminem and other old songs. It was a treat to the ears.

After their songs got over I wanted to thank them so I started clapping loudly for them. I applauded them with words of encouragement to them like how wonderful they all performed. I told them that they are doing an amazing job. So any people gathered around me. I told the people also to give them a huge round of applause.

The guy(singer) thanked me for the words of encouragement that I spoke to him.

Meeting a Football Star

During my summer internship I had stayed in a dormitory in Mumbai. The dormitory had 20 beds. A lot of people who travel very frequently used to come and stay there. I met so many people during my two months of stay at this place.

One day I got very lucky and I met an international football player. He is currently playing in a Malaysian football club. It was an amazing feeling to spend time with him.

So it was a normal day. I came back from the office at around 8pm. A tall and strong person laying next to my bed caught my eye. I assumed him to be a person from Africa who would have come to India on a trip. He had long dreadlock hair. He was 6ft 3 inch tall. He looked very fit and young in his late 20’s. He looked decent, experienced, handsome and gentle.

My dormitory friend who was curious to know who he was started a conversation with him. I was not interested initially in the conversation but I joined them later. Then we had a long conversation with him till late night.

My Friend: Where are you from?
He: I am Briama Pepito Sanusie from Sierra Leone. I play for the national team of Sierra Leone. I am currently playing for a Malaysian football club.

My friend and I: Oh great! So we are sitting with a star. Amazing!
He(laughing): haha! (Then he showed us his videos on the Youtube)

My friend: So what work do you have in India?
He: I had come here to play a football tournament in Kerala. It was very good, I enjoyed playing the tournament in Kerala.
My friend: Oh great!
Me: Amazing!

He: What do you guys do?
My friend: Searching for a job.
Me: Doing my internship.
He(Appreciatively): Oh nice!

Me: So tell us your story. Were you always interested in football?
He: Yes football was my passion. I did my graduation and then I had to choose between a job and my passion. All my sisters had studied really well and were doing jobs. It was a difficult decision to make because football couldn’t pay more money. Then I decided to take football as my career option. I played for the country’s national team. I became quiet famous in the area. I started looking for outside opportunities to improve myself. So I went to Vietnam and joined a club there. After a couple of years playing there, I went to Malaysia and since then, from the past 7-8 years I am playing for a Malaysian football club.
Me: Great! That’s an amazing story.

Me: What were the difficulties you faced?
He(laughing): You always face difficulties but when you know that your passion lies in something then the difficulties don’t matter. People(audience at the stadium) shouted at me if I had put some kind of black color on my body when I was playing for the Vietnam club.

Me: So how did you get married?
He: In Sierra Leone. I had organized a party at my home after I had won an important match. A lot people had come to my home including my fans. One of them was a girl whom I liked after seeing her. I proposed her and told her that I liked her. And asked her to marry me. And she said yes.
Me: Wow! Amazing!
He: Yes my family lives back at home. I have a daughter who is studying in a school and she is also a sports enthusiast.

Me: Wow! That’s great! So in your opinion what does a person should take care about while he is pursuing his dreams? I mean you have achieved so many things in life. Can you give us some tips of success that you followed personaly.
He: Haha! There are no tips. But you should always maintain the discipline. I am disciplined towards my sports. I have seen big players who fail because they become very indisciplined once they start becoming known and famous. I don’t party too much because I know that the next day I have to practice and wake up early. I rather spend my time in a café by reading a good book. So I think discipline is very important in life to pursue your dreams.

Me: Yes correct! I agree with you. What are your future goals?
He: I want to start my own coaching centre in my hometown. I want to train the kids in football.

Me: Oh that’s wonderful. So where will you go now from here?
He: I am going to Sierra Leone to meet my family and then I will go to Malaysia again and join my club.

 

 

Pepito was a very graceful and gentle person. Meeting him that day gave me a lot of energy and inspiration.

I took his autograph in my diary.

 

Below are some of the links where you can check out his videos on youtube:

 

Thank you for reading!

Westworld episode 1 review

The newly released TV series “Westworld” is very different and special in its own way, special because it is produced and directed by Jonathan Nolan which increases the excitement of the Nolan fans. The story deals with a company called Westworld Inc which provides its customers with a simulated Wild West theme park. The park is the replica of the real world wild west, including all its elements like the cowboys,grand canyons,bounty hunters,harlots,civil war etc. The inhabitants of the park are the androids each of whom are programmed with distinct storylines. The customers termed as “guests” pay and visit these theme parks and can do whatever they like without facing any threat from the environment, now this is the real deal where guests can do anything, means to leverage the environment for their personal satisfaction which are also their darkest cravings.

The eye catchy visuals of grand canyon,the background score and  a blend of great cast makes Westworld series a must watch.

Southpaw movie review

The movie(Southpaw) starring Jake Gyllenhaal in the lead is a great flick. Jake is a professional boxer in the movie who has anger management issues. He earns a very handsome amount and loves his wife(Naomi Harris) very much, they also have a daughter of around 10 years old. The movie starts well, just like any other fight movie with lots of bloodshed,anger,muscle packed bodies fighting one another and too much of noise and furor. One can expect it to be just like any other fight movie with so many upcoming fights and glory. But as the movie runs less than a quarter it takes a whole different turn. Billy’s(Jake) wife gets killed by an accident at a function and the life of billy changes forever. He gets into severe depression, he loses matches,stops fighting. His source of income dries up and he has to sell his house and property. Due to his irresponsible behavior, his daughter is also taken away from her by the government.

Billy further breaks down but then he realizes what his wife used to tell him, she wouldn’t have had liked the way he was behaving now and the zeal to take back her daughter’s custody further strengthened him mentally. He joins a local gym and its instructor becomes his new coach. After that Billy learns to control his anger. This helps him to win a match with another famous fighter( his arch nemesis). Seeing his maturity and a change in his attitude, the juvenile board hands over his daughter’s custody to her.

Gyllenhaal’s acting,his body transformation to look like a fighter,were spot on. The soundtrack of the movie was also great especially the “the beast”. However the movie had too much emotions, billy’s character is emotionally too weak which follows much more drama which get’s the viewer bored.